20 | german girl | homoromantic and bisexual | slytherpuff | Taurus sun | capricorn moon | pisces ascendant | Aries dominant | INXP | 4 | want to be a werewolf | maybe a freak
Me: I don’t think I have executive dysfunction I’m probably just being lazy or procrastinating
Me: *hasn’t showered in who knows how long*
Me: *can’t see the floor in my room*
Me: *can’t think properly*
Me: *can’t*
Me: *literally posts about how I need to do the thing but I can’t do the thing*
Me: why can’t I do the thing? Maybe my dad’s right and I’m just lazy and need to stop procrastinating
Had a guy with an ak-47 tattooed on his neck explain to me why being gay was a sin last night.
Guy: “You know after you two are done doing what you’re doing, there’ll always be a part of you left unsatisfied.”
Me: “Is that so?”
Guy: “Mmhmm, ‘cause only men can make you feel right.”
Me: “So men are the best way to go?”
Guy: “Men are the ONLY way to go.”
Me: “Oh, so you like men too? That’s cute.”
Guy: “WHAT-NO-THAT’S NOT-”
I’ve been waiting years for a guy dumb enough to fall for that one.
i was at this party and this girl came up to me and said i was hot and asked if she could kiss me and then disappeared after we did and then like thirty minutes later she came up to me again like we’d never met before and said i was hot and asked if she could kiss me and she literally did that 3-4 times throughout the whole entire night, is this what love is
people: i get soo impatient when people don’t text me back right away. like what if they hate me!!
me, an adhd™: *forgets to text back* *gets distracted for four hours and never replies* *forgets i have friends* *forgets what i forgot*
Professor: Today, we will be taking a personality assessment called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
Me: Do we have to take it if we already know our type?
Professor: Yes, because there might be something you don’t know. Maybe you had your type wrong.
Me: Is the exam based off the cognitive functions?
Professor: Maybe, we’re using a dandy little quiz from a website called 16 Personalities.
Me: *internally screaming*
All the Sophomores in my school were born in 2001 and Mars was in Sagittarius from February to September in 2001 so a lot of them have a Sagittarius Mars.
I kid you not… they always stare at me. A lot of Sophomores be staring at me and I look at them too, but not in a “I hate you” way, but in a “Talk to me” kind of way.
I’m a Sagittarius Mars and a Senior so they my sons 😂
Could this explain why people mistake me for a Sophomore when I’m a Senior? 🤔 It could probably be because I look young though!
Her: don’t watch the series without me it looses all the fun. The fun is not the series…
Me: *pf yeah sure*
Her: …it’s reacting together
Me: *no longer able to control laughter*
